We're going way back in time for this one, to a time when Elizabeth, Kristy's mom, and Watson finally set their wedding day. They ask all the kids to be involved in the ceremony. Kristy is the bridesmaid, Charlie will give her away, Sam will be the best man, Karen will be the flower girl, and I can't remember what the heck David Michael does. Andrew says he doesn't want to be part of it at all.
Things quickly go to hell in a hand basket. Elizabeth finds out that work needs to send her on a trip during the original wedding date. She pushed the wedding date back and then got a call that someone wants to buy the house and wants them out in a month. The end result is that they need to get married in two weeks. She flips out and immediately starts going through the house before deciding to focus on the wedding plans.
Multiple people, including family and friends, offer to help. Both of Kristy's aunts announce that they're coming to town early, and so is Watson's best friend and his family. The problem is that they all have kids. All together there are 14 kids who will be getting in the way. Kristy suggests that the BSC watch them that week while the adults work on the wedding.
I refuse to go into the details about all the kids and their ages. The oldest is 10 and the youngest is just a baby. The girls divide them into groups of three plus one with the two babies. Stacey volunteers to watch the oldest kids, and I am right there with her, while MA wants the babies because she's a freak of nature. They plan a bunch of activities and figure out what to do with the kids.
Stacey takes the oldest kids to see Mary Poppins. One girl loses her money, causes a big hassle, and then finds it in her shoe. The kids then whine because they want candy and cause a commotion in the movie that leads to them leaving early. Dawn takes David Michael, his cousin, and Karen to the park. Karen says that a big kid told her martians were invading. She winds up scaring the kids in the park so bad that the counselor in charge of arts and crafts just tells them to leave.
Kristy and MA take ALL the boys to get hair cuts because their parents are lazy pieces of shit. David Michael throws a major fit, which sets off all the other kids. She winds up threatening to call Nannie multiple times and turn the job over to her. They keep ignoring her and acting up. When she finally threatens them for the fourth time, David Michael suddenly decides that she's serious and tells everyone to lay off.
The last day is when everyone goes stir crazy. They get the idea to put on a play and stage a fake wedding with all the kids in different roles. When they get the kids ready for the rehearsal dinner, they find out that one of the kids messed up all the clothes. The girls just barely manage to get them all dressed in time, though some kids do wind up in the wrong clothes.
Kristy invites all the girls to the rehearsal dinner, and after watching the kids, they get to check out her new room. She then invites MA over to her her get dressed for the wedding. The wedding goes off without a hitch until Morbida Destiny shows up with a wedding present just as they kiss. Karen freaks out about her black magic, runs in the house, and won't come out until she's gone.
Though Kristy spent much of the book worrying about what to get them as a wedding gift, she figures it out when she sees them feed each other cake. She goes to Claudia and asks for help creating a new family tree. The other girls show up, and Stacey brings wedding pictures. They then talk about how things are changing, but Kristy seems pretty optimistic about the future.
*No one ever mentioned anyone coming to look at the house, only that it went on the market a few days ago. Who the hell buys a house without even looking at the inside?
*They originally suggest that Andrew escort Karen down the aisle. Sam asks if that would make him the flower boy, and they all laugh like hyenas for multiple minutes. Um no, you dumbasses, the ring bearer traditionally walks the flower girl down the aisle. Wait, maybe David Michael is the ring bearer?
*They get $600 total or $120 each for the week of work. Elizabeth says it's slightly more than what they usually make per hour, which is around three bucks. Sam deliveries groceries and makes the same per hour plus tips. Oh, and they all get a $10 bonus for a job well done at the end.
*Some friends of the family picks up Karen and Andrew in the end because Elizabeth and Watson are spending a week in Vermont. Charlie gets left in charge of all the kids for a whole week, which is a little ridiculous.
*Kristy is so girly in this book that I love her. She says she'll only to to the Final Fling, which is the big dance of the year, if Alan Gray asks her, which she does and they do. She gets super excited about wearing a girly bridesmaid dress, can't wait to wear her first pair of heels, and asks if she can wear flowers in her hair. Why couldn't later Kristy be the same?
*Ann says that this is the favorite book she wrote in the series and that she loved writing about Karen so much that it inspired her to create the Little Sister series. I thought she only wrote the first four or five books? I always heard that she wrote one book per girl and then turned the series over to ghostwriters.
*One aunt shows up with her youngest and literally just leaves the baby strapped into a car seat in the car. Kristy hangs out with her for a few minutes until the baby feels comfortable and then picks her up. Her aunt is all shocked because the baby hates all strangers and never goes to someone so easily. Of course. Didn't she know that the BSC are miracle workers?
*Claudia wears skintight pants (in seventh grade by the way) with a black leotard and a big white shirt that looked like a lab coat that she painted with black and red designs.
*Kristy wears a white sweater dress with silver snowflakes all over it that Claudia helped her pick out. She says it makes her feel glamorous and completely unlike herself.
*Dawn tries telling Karen that the martian thing was just a joke and gets really frustrated when she won't drop it. She considers telling them no more martian talk but then decides that's too mean. Isn't this the same girl who refuses to let kids play with toy guns?
*When Kristy asks why they can't just sell their house to someone else, Elizabeth explains that her and Watson, her ex-husband, and his ex-wife all have different ideas on how to spend money and that half the money from the house goes to Kristy's dad. Say what now? Since when does the guy who never sends child support and seemingly never helped around the house get money for no reason? If seems like the court should use his half to pack back child support.
*Kristy really shouldn't get the same amount as the other girls. She leaves multiple times for dress fittings and to look at flowers or pick out shoes.
*Kristy points out that Karen calls Nannie Nannie even though they aren't related. Well duh. My brother's step-daughter grew up calling my parents grammy and grandpa. Yet she says that one reason she doesn't like Watson is because he points out stuff people know.
*There's a nice moment where Charlie and Sam talk about the move. They both reassure her that things will be fine and that they'll all get through it together.
*David Michael gets his mom and Watson goldfish as a wedding gift.
*Watson's ex-wife, knowing about the wedding, randomly decides that the week before is the perfect time for her and her new husband to go to London. She literally just calls and tells him that she needs him to watch the kids for the week.
*Kristy checks the encyclopedia to get ideas for a family tree and keeps talking about how to do it. Her end result though is kind of childish. It's just her mom's name with lines pointing to her and her brothers, Watson's name with lines pointing to his kids, and a ribbon in the center. It seems like one of those things moms keep but look terrible.
*On the first day, both Claudia and Kristy have full books of criers and take them to sit down and read. Kristy reads Andrew and his group Green Eggs and Ham, which makes them laugh. That's fine and all, but Claudia reads Where the Sidewalk Ends to her group, and they all start laughing. Her group is three year olds. What three year old would even get the poems in that book?
*The adults in this book are incredibly shitty. I get that they all want to help, but did no one really think this through? Each one has two adults and between three and four kids. How much help did they think they would be with the kids around? Kristy says they need to make all the appetizers and canapes for the wedding, decorate the house and yard, and do a ton of other little small things.